Keys to Effective Reminding Language
- Prompt children to remember for themselves what they should be doing. This shows faith in their competence and builds their autonomy.
Instead of: "Sit alone or next to someone you won't be tempted to talk to. Put away everything you don't need. If your mind wanders, take a few deep breaths and tell your mind to come back to your reading."
Try: "Think about what you can do to help yourself concentrate."
- Use neutral tone and body language. Giving a reminder as a matter-of-fact piece of guidance shows respect for the student. It also helps her focus on what she needs to do rather than on what we think of her.
Instead of: "What did we say is the next step in making these kinds of graphs?" said with a singsong voice, arms crossed, and rolling eyes. (Even if meant to be humorous, implies the student isn't very smart.)
Try: "What did we say is the next step in making these kinds of graphs?" said with a matter-of-fact voice, neutral body position, and a neutral gaze. (Implies student can remember and directs his attention to doing so.)
- Be brief. Students tend to tune out of long strings of words.
Instead of: "I'm hearing people starting to sound disrespectful when they disagree. Everyone, remember to say 'I hear your point, but I have a different idea' or ask a clarifying question the way we learned. If we interrupt and say things like 'No, that's not true,' or 'You're wrong,' we'll shut down discussion."
Try: "What did we learn about disagreeing honestly and respectfully?"
- Watch for follow-through. After giving a reminder, take a moment to see if the child acts. If we don't do this, children may learn that we don't mean what we say.
Instead of: Giving a reminder and then turning away immediately to tend to something else
Try: Watching, and then acknowledging the child's action with a nod or a smile. No words are needed.
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